Sunday, June 03, 2007

Lebron James Raps?! I Hope So!!

Last night, LeBron James helped the Cleveland Cavaliers destroy the Pistons to win the Eastern Conference Finals and earn a chance at the 2007 title ring. That is not news.

[. . .]

What is news is that the night before last night LeBron James released a theme song called "Main Attraction," which appears for the moment on allhiphop.com. According to an Asian Fanatics (not what it sounds like) forum post, LeBron, in addition to ballin', "also raps," and teamed up with Sprite to sponsor a theme-song competition. The result was Paul Wall not really rapping about Sprite and this guy Al Fatz (predictably, given the sugar content), really singing about Sprite.

So for now LeBron James hasn't rapped, but is oddly still listed as "ft." on the Allhiphop mp3. Are people "featured" in songs as long as they are somehow involved in the project? Probably LeBron and Paul Wall hang out; Paul Wall can't be a Spurs fan, he's froum Houston.

Paul Wall had something to say about this cross-promotional adventure; awesomely, he manages to make his comments about his song on LeBron pretty much focus on himself. From the presumably Asian journalism major's forum post:
"Lebron is truth on the basketball court [true], and we had a lot of fun making the song for him [maybe true]," Paul Wall told AllHipHop.com. "He's handling up right now in the playoffs [true], kinda like how I'm handling up on the mic and demolishing the tracks [true]."

I am willing to draw two conclusions from this: 1) that a vandalized Wikipedia entry (since edited) that claimed Chauncey Billups was "bisexual, having admitted to romantic relations with men," was probably posted by LeBron, and 2) that LeBron knew he was going to dust the 'Stons in Game Six. I imagine the meeting with his agent went something like this.
Agent: So, LeBron, we have this song by Paul Wall and Al Fatz that is about you and how great you are.

LeBron: Yes I know.

Agent: We're in a tight spot. A lot of haters think you can't bring it to the finals and you are not Jordan.

LeBron: How did you just say a hyperlink? Should I click on it or what?

Agent: That's not important now. What's important is you have a decision to make. Are you going to win game six or cry like a little bitch? Because if you are going to cry like a little bitch it probably isn't wise to release a song about how much Sprite you drink. It won't be good for Sprite, and it won't be good for you.

LeBron: Don't sweat it, Doc. I just read on Wikipedia that Chauncey Billups is bisexual [snickers].

Agent: Alright that's good enough for me. I'll have Illseed start some rumors that you "also rap."

LeBron: Okay cool, later dude. I gotta go film a commercial where my head turns into a lemon, then a lime! I'm still young enough to think that kind of thing is cool.


As silly as it sounds, it worked. The only remaining steps for LeBron are: 1) win the NBA finals; and 2) release a rap album that tops Shaq's in sales and flow. Both are possible, maybe even probable.

Ideelz out.

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