A Special Message to Me From Delaware

1) Cars stacked nearly on top of one another over the Delaware Memorial Bridge and for several miles afterward. As a special "fuck you" to me, the state had narrowed I-95 to two lanes. The loud women from Maryland complained that the bus driver was talking in Chinese.

2) Last night I dreamed I was back in Delaware waiting tables. This wasn't so bad except no one would tell me where my section was. I would start serving a family, and the managers would move them as I was getting drinks. The menu kept switching mid-meal, too, and people were ordering bizarre things like two lobsters with scrambled eggs and noodles. I had wanted to show the other waiters that I had improved since last time but I continued to look very stupid. At least I was not embarrassed about any of this.