Pentathlete Profile: Pat Feehan

Editor's Note: In honor of the upcoming inaugural Daniel Feehan Pentathalon - a grueling three-day athletic competition testing some of the nation's best and brightest in the fields of Jenga, Texas Hold 'Em, Frisbee Golf, Foosball and Ping Pong - Ideelz, in conjunction with the event's namesake, is publicizing the vital stats of each competitor as part of an ongoing series. The event is to pop off Feb. 16-18, 2008 in Belton, Texas.



Pentathlete #3: Pat "Expat" Feehan
Hails from: Mili-waukee, County Cork (Ireland), Minnesota

Get to know Pat...

By Day: Pat is an internet conspiracy theorist with a specialty in refuting email "hoaxes"
By Sport: Snow Shoveling, Lottery Scratch Off Games, Getting Frustrated by Minnesotan Teams

Pentathletic Strengths: Experience and moxy. This man is a pentathlon legend, winning both the 1967 and 1995 events in rural Minnesota.

Professed weakness: Known to settle disputes violently in a Burr-like "duel"

Intangibles:
Pat claims his experience (read age) will make up for a loss of hand-eye coordination (he's lost one hand and an eye, not the coordination).
Pat's trash talk is infamous, routinely forcing his competitors to fall upon their swords (see 1967 Pentathlon).

Quotable Pat: "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."

Did you know?: Pat is now a citizen of Ireland. He routinely conducts clandestine operations against his former home, Wisconsin. Wisconsin does not seem to notice.

Further Editor's Note: I was drunk when I did this, so if there are format errors, I'm sorry.